Last Blog On The Left

Don´t you hate it when a new movie is released and you really, really wanna like it but the longer you watch it the sad realization that this movie just doesn´t cut it, creeps up on you? It´s a sad thing and the Spierig brothers has subjected me to that feeling twice now! Goddamn it, Spierig brothers, I´m a sensitive man and not just a machine that you turn off and on! I´ve invested time here and I was pretty heartbroken the first time I sat down to watch a movie of yours and now it´s happened again. The first time was when “Undead” was released back in 2003. I don´t know if you remember that one, it´s this low budget flick about how a meteorite crashes nearby an Australian fisher village and causes its inhabitants to run amok and turn into flesh eating zombies. The reason why I really, really wanted to like that one because it had a pretty spectacular poster: the lead character, wearing a hat that´s concealing his eyes, aiming a triple barreled shotgun! Nothing short of brilliant and a movie that has a poster like that has to be frickin´ amazing, right? Well, it wasn´t and I was kinda heartbroken for a while and stopped answering the phone, started hanging out with strangers in the park and so on. You know the drill, right? The usual story.

Now flash forward about seven years and we find ourselves in the present day and the Spierig brothers has released a new movie. I´m talking about the much anticipated “Daybreakers”, starring Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe. This time it´s not zombies that they´re tackling, but vampires. In case you hadn´t noticed, vampires are all the rage now thanks to that “Evening”-series about Edward and Bella. For taking seven fucking years to make their next film, their timing is pretty damn good, at least.

Here´s the set up: It´s 2019 and vampires make up the vast majority of the population with only 5% of the human race remaining. This presents particular challenges as the vampires’ food supply – human blood – is dwindling and rationing is now the norm. It also seems that vampires deprived of an adequate blood supply are themselves evolving into wild, vile creatures that attack anyone and anything in order to survive. Dr. Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke), a vampire and hematologist who works for a pharmaceutical firm, has been working on finding an artificial blood supply that will meet the vampire society’s needs. He is sympathetic to humans and sees his work as a way of alleviating their suffering but his views on finding a solution change considerably when he meets someone who found a way to transform himself from being a vampire to again take human form.

I think that this is a great idea for a vampire movie and pretty original: vampires rule the earth! It´s the kind of stuff that´s always hinted at in other movies and whenever the lead vampire does one of those speeches at the end of a movie where he reveals his plan for world domination, I can imagine that it´s a world much like this one they´re talking about.

I gotta admit that while describing this movie, I find myself thinking “Damn, this sounds pretty cool!” and I admire the Spierig brothers for their ambitions with this movie… But it just doesn´t quite gel together. The separate elements for a great movie are there, but they don´t fuse.

For instance, the movie looks pretty good although they could´ve skipped hiring the lighting designer from the “CSI”-shows. Whenever we´re in the vampire´s domain, everything is for some reason steel blue. I mean everything! Kind of like in the “CSI: New York”-show. And when Hawke´s character finds himself out on the countryside, it´s as if he wandered into the “Miami”-version. Let´s just say that it´s not too subtle.

I read a couple of reviews saying that this movie reminded them of a John Carpenter-movie, except for the fact that you know, it wasn´t directed by John Carpenter. I can sort of understand what they´re getting at. “Daybreakers” has an old fashioned feel to it and it takes its time in setting up the world, like I can imagine Carpenter would but that´s where the similarities end. And this is basically because of Ethan Hawke´s character.

You see, at the beginning he starts out as a pretty interesting character: he wears a trench coat (without masturbating publically, which has to be applauded) and a Fedora hat, so he´s got that whole 1940´s private eye thing going on, which is always cool in movies. Plus the fact that he also smokes! Without being the bad guy! Pretty sensational in this day and age but then again, this movie was made in Australia and I guess that good guys can still smoke over there. Anyway, about half into the movie (SPOILER!!!) Hawke´s character goes through a transformation and then suddenly he´s running around wearing a white puffy shirt and a black vest, looking like an extra from a Meat Loaf-video.

And this is where the movie goes wrong: with its protagonist. Say what you will about Ethan Hawke, he´s a fine actor and all that but that guy can´t portray a bad ass character, even if his life depended on it. And I´m pretty sure that if John Carpenter directed this movie, Ethan Hawke would´ve been shown the door the minute he entered the audition. And Willem Dafoe´s character (named Elvis, which is another Carpenter-connection because he directed “Elvis: The Movie” as some of you might remember) is shockingly bland, as well. He has all the attributes: world weary, a beard and a shotgun combined with a crossbow and if that doesn´t sound like something Carpenter would dream up, I don´t know what would. But he doesn´t get a single “bad ass moment” where we realize that “Shit, this guy is not to be messed with”.

And that sucks, to be frank! I mean, does anyone remember when Carpenter himself made a vampire movie? That´s when the world was blessed with the wonderfully politically incorrect “Vampires”, a movie filled to the brim with bad ass-ery and one liners so cynical and bad to the bone that the hair on your neck stood up every time James Woods spouted one of his lines. That´s what the Spierig brothers should´ve strived more for.

So that´s what they should´ve done: fired Ethan Hawke, hired Jason Statham instead to achieve just the right amount of bad ass-edness, called up John Carpenter said “Hi John! We´ve noticed that you haven´t directed a movie in a while and that kind of sucks. We´ve written a script called “Daybreakers” and have the financing all in place and we´re all good to go but we figured that you should direct it instead just because… well, you´re John Carpenter and we´re not!”and let him have his way with the movie. Then we would´ve had the great movie that everyone´s talking about and not this half assed vampire mess. Problem solved.

At least they gave good old Sam Neill a role.

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

It´s time for us to move into what is, for some of you out there, uncharted territory. I´m talking about a world that only the most hard-bitten and jaded of us out there are familiar with; a world that takes a lot guts to venture into; a world that will scare most people off into the other direction… That´s right, I´m talking about the world of the low-budget-straight-to-DVD-sequels! But don´t worry, people. I am here to hold your hand and guide you through this decadent land of bargain-bin-basement-baskets and knock-offs.

You know what I`m talking about, right? The sequels to films with much bigger budgets and that were released theatrically. Now, I´m not trying to fool anyone out there. I am fully aware of the fact that 90% of these titles suck. Most of ´em suck pretty hard, as well. But you know what, every once in a while you come across a straight-to-DVD-sequel (from here on referred to as “STDVDS”, ok?) that is pretty good and doesn´t drag the first film´s good name through the mud just to leave it bled dry on the bottom shelf of your local video store.

A title that springs to mind is “Carlito´s Way: Rise To Power”, which for those of you out there who might be slightly retarded is the sequel to “Carlito´s Way” starring Al Pacino and Sean Penn. Apparently they had much bigger fishes to fry when it came time to make the sequel so this one is instead about Carlito´s youth and his… surprise, surprise:  Rise to power! That’s why we get such fine actors as that Latino looking guy from “Hostel” in the role of Al Pacino and Mario Van Peebles (who is pretty damn good in this one) as a bad ass mobster. This is actually a decent entry into the world of STDVDS´s and it looks like it had a bigger budget than most of these types of films.

So you see, it is actually possible to produce perfectly watchable films in this twilight zone of the movie industry that is the STDVDS´s. Another example is the two sequels to Paul Verhoeven´s fantastic “Starship Troopers”. I´m not saying that they are as good as the first one but they are pretty entertaining. They were also written and directed by the same guy who wrote the first one. If you haven´t seen ´em you should check out both “Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation” and “Starship Troopers 3: Marauder”. They´re well worth your time. Well, that depends entirely on what it is that you choose to do with your time. If you´re a delegate for the UN, maybe these type of films aren´t worth your time. But if you instead choose to spend your nights all by your lonesome and having long conversations with your socks while wondering how long you can go without taking a shower, I´d definitely say that they are worth your time.

So now that we´ve established that there are in fact a couple of STDVDS´s that are totally acceptable, quality-wise, we have arrived at the film I wanted to discuss with you. One of my favorite films from the unholy year of 2007 was “Vacancy” starring Luke Wilson and the lovely Kate Beckinsale (you know, the girl with the leather outfit in the “Underworld”-movies. Don´t act like you don´t know who she is). That flick was directed by a man named Nimrod Antal and I think that he did an absolutely fantastic job at that. Not at all like his name would imply. It was a lean, mean, fast-moving horror-thriller that was actually pretty suspenseful. You know, one of those “white-knuckles-on-the-edge-of-your-seat”-type of films that you keep hearing about on various DVD covers. “A killer of a thriller”, if you will…

Anyway, it reminded of a film that John Carpenter could´ve directed, if he still would be directing (do you hear me, movie gods? Let the man direct again!) It had a confined setting and a simple premise and the filmmakers really milked it for all that it was worth. Kinda like Carpenter did in the days of “Halloween”, “Assault on Precinct 13” and “The Fog”, you know. So “Vacancy” was released in 2007 and I guess that it was pretty successful but not successful enough to warrant a theatrically released sequel. But who gives a “frak”, as they say on that “Battlestar Galactica”-show, the sequel is here and it´s actually pretty ok. It´s not a fantastic film, by any means, but when we talk about STDVDS´s the normal standards of judging a film doesn´t apply. You can´t compare a STDVDS to a normal film, you get it? You have to compare them to other sequels that were dumped straight onto DVD, ok? And if you do that, “Vacancy 2: The First Cut” is a hell of a lot better than say, “Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead” which I ranted about here a couple of weeks ago.

This is actually a prequel to the first film so in this one we get to see how this sordid business of killing people and videotaping got started. It´s an interesting story where we get to see the lead characters and their visits to many banks and sponsors while they present their fantastic business idea of killing people for pleasure: “Come on, people! Who doesn´t enjoy watching a good killing?”

Actually, that´s not at all what this movie´s about… It is a prequel, though. I wasn´t kidding about that so this means that this film takes place back in 2004. We are introduced to the managers of the Meadow View Motel, Gordon (played by David Moscow) and Reece (Brian Klugman). They´ve got a little business on the side where they use one of their rooms to videotape guests in their most intimate moments. When the mysterious Mr. Smith (Scott G. Anderson) checks in with a young woman, they witness the sadistic psychopath guest stabbing and killing his mate. The three of them realize that they can make a bundle on these kinda tapes. Said and done, they decide to make other snuff movies with Smith. One night Caleb (Trevor Wright), who is traveling from Chicago with his fiancée Jessica (Agnes Bruckner) and his best friend Tanner (Arjay Smith), decides to rest in Meadow View and guess which room they are given?

Let´s start with the good things, ok? I like the concept of this film that we get to see how this bizarre operation got started. That´s the reason I liked “Hostel Part 2” better than the first one, you got to see how that disgusting business operation actually functioned. It´s a fascinating idea: what drives somebody into start making snuff movies? That´s always a good thing to have when you´re making a movie, right? A good idea! The script is actually pretty solid so hats off to screenwriter Mark L. Smith for not dumbing down the movie.

Then we have the actors. They´re also pretty good, if you ask me. And even if you don´t ask me, I´m gonna tell you anyway. That´s just how I roll! So, they´re great but it´s a damn shame that they didn´t have the budget to bring back Frank Whaley as the creepy receptionist form the first film since he was definitely one of the best things about the whole movie. I´d love to see a whole film just about him the next time. Moscow and Klugman makes for a pretty good team and weirdly enough, you never lose sympathy for Moscow´s character. He manages to keep him pretty sympathetic, which I have to consider as a job well done. After all, this is a guy who masterminds an operation to kill young, innocent boys and girls and tape it. Not your typical sympathetic guy next door.

Then there´s this girl Agnes Bruckner. I really like her. She deserves a bigger break. She was great as the lead in Lucky McKee´s “The Woods” a couple of years back and she´s great here, too. She was also in that flick called “Venom” with that guy who ran around the Louisiana swamps and got bitten by snakes possessed by deadly souls and whatnot. You know, your basic voodoo stuff. The thing is that this girl Agnes Bruckner seems to find roles that ain´t your typical helpless heroine in distress. It´s not like she´s Sigourney Weaver taking on the Alien Queen in that loading truck but I think that she manages to steer away from just being a good looking, screaming girl so I think she definitely deserves some credit for that. I hope she keeps it up and doesn´t decide to just go for the easy parts. I´m assuming that she has some influence on the portrayal of these parts herself, to some extent at least. So keep it up, Miss Bruckner! By the way, her character´s name in “Venom” was Eden Sinclair, the same as Rhona Mitra´s in “Doomsday”. What the hell´s up with that? Does Neil Marshall harbor a hidden obsession with the movie “Venom” so he decides to use the same name as an homage? That would be very weird, indeed. I remember that it was a pretty entertaining flick but it´s not that good, Mr. Marshall! Some people just doesn´t know when to quit.

Then there´s the director, Eric Bross. Apparently he´s an alright kind of bloke since he´s done a pretty good job of actually creating some tension and at least two scenes that are pretty unsettling without delving into a torture extravaganza. Actually, there´s a scene here which really reminded me of “The Strangers”, starring Liv Tyler. I don´t know if you´ve had the chance to check that one out yet, but it´s really good (I´ll be posting a rambling about it pretty soon). Anyway, I thought it was one of the better horror films from last year and Bross actually manages to recreate some of its atmosphere in one of his scenes. So it´s obvious that this guy has some talent, right? Sure enough, when I checked him out on imdb I realized that he also directed an independent flick called “Stranger Than Fiction” a couple of years back, starring Dina Meyer. I may be wrong here but I remember that film to be pretty good, actually. I´m not sure. I may just be talking out of my ass but if that´s the case then this Bross guy has two relatively decent straight-to-DVD-films on his resume and that makes him alright in my book. Keep ´em coming…

However, there is one thing that “Vacancy 2” doesn´t manage to avoid and that is the annoying black character. You know what I´m talking about. Why is it that every time there´s an African-American character (in this case it´s Tanner), he´s has to be making bad jokes and wisecracks the entire time? That´s one thing that you failed to avoid, screenwriter Mark L. Smith! I mean, haven´t we seen enough of this stereotype? Do people still enjoy this? We´re not still living in the 80´s, are we? At least the character of Tanner isn´t as spectacularly over-the-top as that guy in the remake of “The Fog”, so at least we have that to be grateful for.

It´s also a shame about a film like this that since it is a STDVDS it is obviously done on the fly with a very low budget and that means that they have to shoot the damn thing with one of those DV cameras that they use nowadays. I do not like that. Hell, just look at the original “Vacancy”! It looked amazing! I have no idea who was the director of photography or anything like that but whoever it is, they sure did a good job. The poor guy´s who´s the director of photography on “Vacancy 2: The First Cut” doesn´t have that option because he´s forced to shoot with a goddamn DV camera that makes everyone and everything look grainy and shitty and very, very dark! I remember a time when even the straight-to-video-sequels were shot on real film. That was a much happier time… When Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Wesley Snipes still made films that got shown in theatres. Christ, I´m gonna cry now…

Anyway, I think that the makers of “Vacancy 2: The First Cut” should be proud of themselves. It´s one of the better STDVDS´s I´ve seen in a long time and I really hope that this one sells a lot of copies so that they can make another one and then get enough money so that they can centre the whole fucking film about Frank Whaley´s character from the first one. That would be sweet.

So there you have it, folks. As far as straight-to-DVD-sequels go, this is one of the better ones. You can actually watch this one without feeling like you´ve just wasted an hour and a half and enjoy it. Good job, filmmakers!

Until next time,

Thomas