Last Blog On The Left

It´s time to make a stand for everything that is good here in our rotten world again, friends. In this case all that happens to be good about our world is spelled John Landis and “Innocent Blood”. When this one was released back in 1992, it was pretty much universally lambasted for being a failure. Critics were disappointed, to say the least. I guess that I could understand them being that this was made by the director who made the werewolf classic “An American Werewolf in London” so when this guy was gonna tackle the vampire genre, everyone was getting a hard on just by the thought of it. Then everyone was all sad and blue when it was released because it didn´t live up to their expectations. Well, boo-fucking-hoo, I say! You see, I was around thirteen when this one was released and thought that it was fantastic. But the thing is that I hadn´t seen this movie since then, until I finally got around to ordering the German DVD (it´s the only one released in widescreen) and sat down to watch it the other night.

It´s always something of a gamble when you´re gonna re-visit one of these childhood favorites. Chances are that you´re gonna agree with everyone that kept calling you stupid as a kid because most of the times those movies you liked turn out to be pretty crappy, so you end up sitting there thinking “Christ, they were right! I must´ve been pretty stupid to like this movie, because this really blows!”

Well, in this case I had the exact opposite experience. This movie was actually better than I remember it being. And do you know why that is? Because John Landis is a genius and his take on vampirism is pretty goddamn funny, that´s why! And gory!

Marie (Anne Parillaud) is a vampire, making her rounds in a wintry Chicago. But she´s not your ordinary kind of vampire. She´s the kind that has a conscience, which means that she tries to limit her throat-sucking to the criminal denizens of her city. Everything´s hunky dory until two problems come up, she is interrupted while feeding on Sal “the shark” Macelli (Robert Loggia) and she begins to develop a relationship with Joe Gennaro (Anthony LaPaglia), the policeman who has been trying to put Sal away. Sal wakes up in the morgue very confused and very thirsty. He goes back to his old haunts and begins to create an organized crime family of vampires while Marie and her policeman lover decide to hunt him down.

Did I mention that Marie also has quite an appetite for sex? That´s right, just like all good vampires she doesn´t only crave blood. Do you hear that, “Twilight”? That´s why it´s such fun to re-visit this movie because it´s a hell of a lot more gorier than I remember it being and in the first five minutes we´ve also been treated to the wonderful sight of Anne Parillaud walking around her bedroom, in her birthday suit! We´re talking full frontal here and tell me, how can you not like a movie that opens this way?

This is one underrated film we´ve got here, friends. We all know the state of vampires these days with young girls fawning over R-Pattz or whatever the hell they call him today, which is why this movie makes me nostalgic for the vampires of yesteryear. Remember when vampires actually did some killing whenever they showed up in a movie? Hey, it sounds crazy, kids, but that´s what they did! In this one they don´t sparkle in the sunlight, oh no, sir! You see, this Marie gal can be pretty vicious when she sets her mind to it and that´s why her attacks are among the highlights of the film. They´re pretty brutal, especially by today´s standards.

And you know what else I love about John Landis´ movies? It´s because they seem designed to be one and one thing only: fun! And this one is no exception. To see Italian gangsters run around, taking big chomps out of each other´s necks is pretty hilarious. Kind of makes me wonder why the hell no one ever came up with the idea of vampire gangsters before this movie. Especially since Robert Loggia seems to be born to play this part. He really lets it rip as the mob boss. The scene where he wakes up at the morgue is particularly funny. He kind of does the same schtick here that he would later hone to perfection on David Lynch´s “Lost Highway”, when he played that gangster boss with a severe case of road rage.

And you know, since this is a John Landis movie we also get the obligatory slew of cameos from different directors and other faces familiar to horror fans. In this one we get Sam Raimi as guy who works at a meat packing plant, Dario Argento as a paramedic, Michael Ritchie as a night watchman, Linnea Quigley as a nurse, Frank Oz as a pathologist and Forrest J. Ackerman as a guy who gets his car stolen. That´s always fun with Landis´ movies: to spot the different cameos. I know, it´s nerdy, but I admit it: I wear my badge of nerdiness with pride.

But except for the cameos, it´s a pretty impressive cast: Chazz Palminteri plays Loggia´s right hand man, Don Rickles plays the mobster´s lawyer, David Proval is in there, as well as Tony Sirico who played Tony Walnuts on “The Sopranos”. It´s kind of fun to see these guys who usually show up in mob movies directed by Scorsese, send up their image in this way.

And you know, since this is a movie from 1992 we´re talking about here, do you know what the best thing about it is? No goddamn CGI! That´s right, folks! None whatsoever. I know that that sounds pretty unbelievable but that´s how they made films back then: just practical effects. This means that when the blood starts to flow, it really flows here. Landis isn´t holding back here. Imagine that they got away with this back then: a vampire comedy with an R rating? Fantastic.

It´s obvious that Landis himself is a fan boy, as well. He shows his dedication to the genre by almost always having some old horror movie showing in the background and constantly paying tribute to other films. That doesn´t mean that he´s afraid to mix it up a bit when it comes to the vampire conventions, though. The vampires in this one doesn´t need a wooden stake through the heart in order to die. Landis shows a couple of times that regular bullets will suffice more than well. They also have a reflection whenever they look in the mirror. Garlic, however, is still a problem for them. We´re also shown in one of the best scenes of the movie that sunlight still pack a punch.

I kinda appreciate this approach to making a vampire movie. I think it makes it more fun if you deviate somewhat from the standard rules and conventions. But like I said, that does not mean that you should turn the vampires in the sobbing emo kids who sparkle when they´re exposed to sunlight, ok?

So let´s just ignore the fact that Anne Parillaud may not be the best actress in the world, ok? At least not when she´s forced to speak her lines in English, which isn´t her native tongue, then she sounds a bit stilted. She was fantastic in “Nikita” but she isn´t the most charismatic vampire in this one but I´ll take her over Bella any day. But let´s ignore that and concentrate on the fact that this may be one of the last truly entertaining vampire films ever produced. So thanks for that, John Landis!

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

Okay, I know I´m late as hell on this one but I figured why not throw my two cents worth in there? Just because I can, you know? I heard a lot of different things about this one beforehand and I wasn´t really sure what to expect but since I am a huge fan of Woody Harrelson, I figured that I was going to expect this one to be good. Turns out that for once in my life I chose the right path. Because this movie is actually a lot of fun and it´s much thanks to the Woody himself! I don´t know about you but I´ve liked the guy ever since I saw him on “Cheers” back when I was a kid. I realize that we live in a world where a goddamn ash cloud terrorizes people and we´re slowly running out of resources and all that and it´s easy to get mixed up in that but I also say this:

No matter how bad things are out there right now, the fact of the matter is that we also live in a world where Woody Harrelson are making movies pretty constantly and that, in my humble opinion, makes up for a lot of bad shit.

The fact that an actor like Harrelson keeps working makes the world just a little bit more beautiful. Think about it: in the last couple of years we´ve gotten “No Country For Old Men”, “The Grand”, “Transsiberian” and “Defendor” to name just a few. All of these movies were blessed with a dose of the wonder that is Woody.

And then we have “Zombieland”. Which you probably already have seen and if you haven´t I recommend you do it before you continue reading because I´m gonna go pretty heavy on the SPOILERS!!!, ok? But since we´re all intelligent people here, I´m gonna assume you´ve seen it but as a reminder, here´s the plot just so we´re on the same page, in case you saw one of the many other movies called “Zombieland” that´s floating around out there:

Jesse Eisenberg plays Columbus, who is basically a big wuss. You know, kind of like the roles Eisenberg usually portrays. Remember “Adventureland”? “The Squid and the Whale”? He´s basically the same whiny guy here.  But the good thing here is that when you’re afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. He´s formed a set of different rules that he now lives by and it´s thanks to them that he´s managed to stay alive this long. He teams up with Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), who is an AK-toting, zombie-slaying’ bad ass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.

Now, I´ve realized that one of the things that have divided the people of this planet is the everlasting discussion about whether you prefer zombies that walk or run. You know, should they stumble around like they do in Romero´s movies or should they run fast as fuck, as they do in “28 Days Later” and the remake of “Dawn of the Dead”? In case you haven´t noticed this is something that the people of the internet feel very strongly about. Many are the conflicts that have been started because of it! I´m not saying that this is a fact but if I remember correctly, running zombies appeared around the same time as those two planes crashed into the World Trade Center. I´m not sure about this, but I´ll just throw it out there and you´ll do what you will with it…

Now, I´m not gonna spoil the surprise for you by saying which kind of zombies you get in this one but I will say that the filmmakers quickly establishes how their zombies behave and it works very well.

In case you hadn´t realized this, this isn´t exactly a “horror” movie. I don´t think you´re gonna sit around biting your nails while you watch this because this is basically a comedy with zombies in it. A “zom-com” or whatever the hell they call it. I guess it might even be a “rom-zom-com” because there is a bit of romance as Eisenberg´s awkward teenage kid falls head over heels for Emma Stone´s character.

And that´s what makes this movie so great: it´s a comedy that´s genuinely entertaining, not only in the gags they stage but the dialogue is particularly entertaining as it makes room for some liberating non-PC jokes, like when one character notes that it´s good to practice your cardio if you´re gonna outrun the zombies, because “fatties go first”. Call me immature, but that kind of thing always gets a smile from me.

The key to why “Zombieland” works so well is because it sports some pretty well written characters that they managed to cast pretty well, too. Eisenberg and Harrelson make for an entertaining duo and they manage to create the kind of character that you just wanna hang out with and listen to whatever the hell they´re talking about. Because, to be honest, the story isn´t all that much. But I´m the kind of guy that is of the firm opinion that plot comes second, just as long as you have some great characters.

You know what, another movie that this one reminded me of is Richard Linklater´s last-day-in-high-school-classic “Dazed and Confuzed”. Just like that one, “Zombieland” is a funny and at the same time heartfelt coming of age-story. In “Dazed and Confuzed” you´re just dropped right into the story and pretty quickly you´re introduced to all the characters and within a second you get a sense of what this and that character´s all about. “Zombieland” works the same way: you´re dropped into the action but instead of a bunch of high school kids being hazed, it´s a bunch of zombies trying to eat our hero alive. In both movies you also kind of just drift along with the characters through the story but you never feel bored or shortchanged, as a viewer. “Zombieland” has a loose feeling to it that I really enjoyed. And yes, at times it´s a pretty touching love story that director Ruben Fleischer manages to tell.

And then there´s that cameo… by that actor… I´m sure you´ve heard about it by now but just to be safe here´s another SPOILER!!! for you persistent freaks out there. You see, a certain comedian, who has appeared in many classic comedies (I think he did one about a bunch of guys who started a company where they performed exorcisms or something) appears in this one as himself and I´m not kidding you when I say that this has got to be one of the most brilliant cameos ever! I don´t know if they wrote this part for this specific actor originally but no one else could´ve done such an insanely great job with it.

I´m just gonna come out and say it now, ok? It´s Bill Murray and as we all know, Bill Murray isn´t human like the rest of us. He´s a demigod as far as comedians go and actors in general, for that matter. And we´ve all heard the stories about him and his erratic behavior, right? Whenever you hear a celebrity talking about him on some talk show, they´re always telling some crazy shit about him pulling some stunt at a party or something like that. Remember when he got arrested in Stockholm for driving a Golf cart down the street, while intoxicated? Bill Murray just doesn´t subscribe to the normal conventions of society and that´s what makes him so brilliant. But the genius of his cameo in this one is that he plays it totally straight and that he appears to be nicest, most hospitable guy on the planet. The thought of that just makes me laugh out loud.

By the way, the best Bill Murray-anecdote I ever heard was some guy who apparently met him in an elevator at a film festival. It was just these two guys and when the doors closed, Bill Murray grabbed the other guy in a headlock and whispered “No one´s ever going to believe you…” and then got off on his floor and said goodbye.

So there you have it! I know it´s that time of the year again when the sun starts to rear its ugly face and the couples that have been in hiding all through the winter starts skipping down the street, hand in hand, and that can be a hard time for some of us. That´s why we need to laugh every now and again, people! And if you ever get that itch, this is the movie to watch, fuckers!

Sorry about that last part where I called you “fuckers”. I didn´t mean it. I meant it affectionately. It´s just that that whole paragraph before where I was rambling about how “we all need to laugh” and that crazy hippie shit felt a bit much and I had to outweigh it by throwing that in there. It won´t happen again.

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

Ten years ago Troy Duffy directed a flick called ”The Boondock Saints”, which was pretty enjoyable and I guess that some people regard that movie as sort of a straight-to-video classic today. I have to admit that I have seen it more than once. It´s not like it´s “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” but I think it´s a pretty fun flick. But after it was released, something weird happened: writer-director Troy Duffy was in a nuclear accident and as a result of this he did not get any super powers but his ego ballooned to a size that mankind had not witnessed before! All this is documented in the excellent documentary “Overnight” (except for the nuclear accident thing. Apparently they left out that part), and his career was pretty much over. Until now, that is, when the much delayed sequel “The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day” have finally been released.

To be honest, I never thought that this one would see the light of the day. If you´ve seen “Overnight”(and if you haven´t I once again urge you to watch it. Seriously, do it!), you are familiar with the fact that this Duffy fella has quite the mouth on him, and he´s been going on and on about this movie for ten years now with not much happening so I thought “Yeah right, Troy Duffy, I´ll believe it when I see it”.

I have seen it now, so I guess that I have to believe it. One thing I can´t believe though is how disappointed I was with it. I almost wish that Duffy didn´t got this one made and then we could continue fantasizing about what movies this guy would make if he only got the chance, instead of actually watching them! I liked to think of Duffy as this almost mythical figure and what if the guy is some sort of misunderstood genius? I mean, the first “Boondock Saints” showed that he obviously was a guy who could spin an entertaining yarn and he definitely knew his way around a camera, right? It was a fairly confident exercise in style considering that it was his first movie. Hell, he could be the Orson Welles of Tarantino-inspired action flicks, for chrissakes!

As it turns out, I was wrong. I don´t know what Duffy´s been up to all these years but he sure as hell hasn´t been fine tuning this script. It´s surprisingly clumsy and unoriginal, considering that he´s been gestating on the thing for ten years now! But I gotta say this: the guy gives the fans what they want. At least, if what they want is basically the same thing all over again.

The movie starts with the MacManus brothers (still Norman Reedus and Sean Patrick Flanery) living on Ireland with their father (Billy Connolly), and a bunch of sheep (sheep). They seem to have some sort of contest going on regarding who can grow his beard the longest, because they look pretty shitty. Kinda like those homeless guys you see in the park sometimes. Anyway, the brothers have to bow out of this contest because they have to go back to Boston because someone is trying to frame them for the murder of a catholic priest. And then blah blah blah…

You know the deal, the brothers go back and they start killing off gangsters to the left and right. It turns out that the gangster ruling the city this time around is the son of the one they killed in the first one and he´s played by the wild kid dressed in black from “The Breakfast Club”, Judd Nelson. Christ, I guess I always knew that that kid would end up bad but I never thought it´d go as far as this, that he´d end up a goddamn kingpin in Boston! I wonder what Principal Vernon would say if he knew about this.

Like I mentioned earlier, you can´t fault Duffy for not giving the fans what they liked in the first one but that´s about it! The attempts he does at expanding the mythology doesn´t work very well so you lose interest in them pretty quickly. For instance, the back story of Il Duce is Duffy´s attempt at creating a “Godfather Part II”-style story of how an innocent Irish immigrant is forced into crime to make ends meet, like Don Corleone back in his day. The problem is, Duffy ain´t no Coppola, even though he surely thinks so himself and the guy he´s found to play the young Billy Connolly sure as hell ain´t no Robert De Niro. He´s not even the Robert De Niro-on-autopilot that we saw in “Godsend”. Hell, he´s not even the over-the-top Robert De Niro that we saw in “Rocky and Bullwinkle”! That´s how uninteresting this guy is, unfortunately.

I think that one of the reasons why the movie sits so badly with me is this: it´s hard to appreciate it after you´ve seen “Overnight”. The first “Boondock” was a fun Tarantino-rip off with some over-the-top, hardboiled dialogue but when you watch “Overnight” you realize that “Holy crap, this is the way that this Troy Duffy-guy talks in real life! He really thinks he is a Boondock Saint!” That´s why some of the scenes in this movie made me very uncomfortable, the main one being the dream sequence in which Rocco from part I appear. They´re standing in the middle of a hockey rink and screaming about how they are men and “real men do not cry, real men don´t pout, real men jack you in the jaw and John Wayne didn´t talk about his feelings because he died with five pounds of undigested red meat in his ass” and so on and to be honest, this is one of the more embarrassing scenes I´ve seen in a long, long time.

The reason why I found this so embarrassing isn´t because I object to what the characters is saying or anything like that (which I do, for the record). If I would´ve seen this scene in another movie I probably would´ve found it pretty funny, but like I mentioned: it just isn´t funny when you know that this is writer-director Troy Duffy expressing his inner most thoughts to us, the audience. This is probably the emotional depth that this guy has to offer his surroundings.

Then we have the fact that this dialogue is being spoken by Reedus, who hasn´t aged one day since the first one, and Flanery. Now, Flanery has probably aged quite a bit and decided that the process of growing older wasn´t for him so he looks like he´s Botox-ed the hell out of his face! And I don´t think that these two got any direction at all during the making of this movie because all they do is basically scream their dialogue. I´m not saying that the first one is some sort of masterpiece of nuances but at least Reedus and Flanery didn´t act like they were part of some shitty summer stock revival. All this adds up to what is the most embarrassing sequence so far this year.

But Reedus and Flanery aren´t the only ones guilty of supersized acting in this one, oh no! Clifton Collins, JR, who is usually a reliable performer throws all caution to the wind acts like he´s trying to beat Nicolas Cage in a contest to see who is capable of the widest grins and loudest screams. I guess he´s supposed to be the comic relief sidekick of the movie but I´m not sure. He´s not particularly funny and neither are the three returning detectives Dolly, Duffy and Greenly but you get the sense that Troy Duffy himself finds every one of their lines hilarious!

Then there´s Julie Benz from “Rambo 4” and “Dexter”, who plays an FBI agent named Eunice who´s investigating the case and for some weird reason she speaks with a southern accent that´s worse than Brad Pitt´s Irish one in “The Devil´s Own”. There´s no explanation for this and the only one I can see is that Troy Duffy probably found this funny, in some weird way. Hell, even Peter Fonda shows up toward the end and he does the worst accent of them all. You´re not gonna believe your ears…

I guess that if I hadn´t seen “Overnight”, I might´ve enjoyed this one a bit more but I sincerely doubt it. So maybe it was wrong of me to recommend it to you at the beginning of this rant? Let´s play it like this: watch this one first and if you like it, don´t watch “Overnight” because if you do, your image of Troy Duffy and ability to embrace anything he might make in the future will be forever tarnished. If you don´t enjoy it, seek out “Overnight” immediately to fully grasp what weird universe this man lives in!

Well, at least he got this one made, which is pretty impressive after all. You gotta give him that! It doesn´t give him any credit that in ten years time, this was the best script he could come up with, though. Maybe he´ll vindicate himself in part III, which we´re promised at the end of this one?

A special mentioning should go out to this guy Bob Rubin who plays a character called Gorgeous George. Now, out of all the examples of overacting that is on display in this movie, this guy takes the prize! If Troy Duffy can sit around and watch dailies with this guy in them and not realize something is very, very wrong, he really is out of his mind. No doubt about it.

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

A couple of weeks back I decided to re-visit Richard Kelly´s “Southland Tales”. Now, some of you might call that foolish, some of you might say that I´m pushing my luck and some of you might even call me brave for sitting through that movie voluntarily again. But some of us have to do these things, even if it costs me my mental health in the process. You see, someone has to try to make some sense of this movie and I decided that enough time had passed now and I had matured enough as a human being. I was once again ready to take the plunge.

I´m guessing that I wasn´t the only one who really looked forward to this movie back when it was announced that it was being made? Richard Kelly´s “Donnie Darko” had sneaked into the cult movie pantheon out of nowhere and since that movie appeared without too much hype and proved to be a frickin´ masterpiece, the expectations on “Southland Tales” were raised to inconceivable levels. Then Kelly showed the movie in Cannes and he was booed off the stage and chased through the village with French villagers carrying burning croissants and demanding his head on a stick, the movie was re-edited and about a year or so later it was unleashed upon an unsuspecting human world.

I was baffled. But I have to admit that I liked the movie. It may be a sprawling mix of an infinite number of genres and most of the time you have no idea what the hell is going on onscreen but it sure as hell isn´t boring. This is one of those kinds of movies that you wonder how the hell Richard Kelly ever get made. That alone is an achievement worth mentioning. You see, we´re talking about a movie that tries to be a science fiction drama, a black comedy, a political thriller as well as a romantic social satire. Hell, it even has a musical number in it!

In order to try to get the most out of my second sitting with “Southland Tales”, I decided to maximize my effort and watch it the way Kelly intended, which means that I read the five part comic book miniseries that was published before the movie was released. This tells the story of The Rock´s character Boxer Santoro and how he was found out in the desert, mostly. Now, if anyone out there thinks about doing the same thing I can now report that the comic book does very little to add to your enjoyment or understanding the wonderful disaster that is “Southland Tales”.

The weird thing is that what happens in the comic book is later related in Justin Timberlake´s voice over narration. As an example, this is how it works: Timberlake´s character Pilot Abilene tells us that Santoro was found out in the desert a couple of days ago and it´s these events that we are supposed to learn of in the comic book. However, the comic book shows us how he is found but you´re none the wiser about what the hell he was doing out there in the first place. So, you might say that the comic book does over the course of 200 pages what Timberlake does in one line of expository narration. So, I can´t really say that it enhanced my appreciation of “Southland Tales”.

Now, if you are about to embark the endeavor to watch this movie, I think you´ll get the most of it if you just sit back and marvel at the sheer weirdness of it. I´m not even gonna try to explain the story but let´s just say that its plot concerns alternative fuel sources, existentialism, drugs, ocean tides, high technology pornography and rifts in time and space. You get the idea, right?

Imagine a plot that complex populated by what has to be the weirdest ensemble cast in the history of movies: Seann William Scott plays a pair of twins, The Rock plays Boxer Santoro, Sarah Michelle Gellar is a porn star and Justin Timberlake is the scarred soldier who watches everyone and narrates. They´re the main players, ok?

Then we have the supporting actors and it sure as hell doesn´t get any less weird there: Mandy Moore as a Senator´s daughter, John Larroquette is in there as a lobbyist, Miranda Richardson as the Senator´s wife, Wallace Shawn as the mad genius behind the alternative fuel source, Zelda Rubinstein as… well, a midget obviously, Bai Ling does her usual schtick as a weirdly, provocatively dressed sex pot, Kevin Smith plays an old legless guy and Christophe Lambert is an arms dealer. “Wow, that´s one weird cast” you say but it doesn´t stop there! You see, Kelly also decided to give a large portion of the roles to former Saturday Night Live actors so as an added bonus we get Amy Poehler as free-wheelin´ poet, Norah Dunn, Jan Hooks, Cheri Oteri as a militant feminist and Jon Lovitz as a psychotic cop with a blonde haircut. If I remember correctly we also get to see Janeane Garofalo in an extremely brief cameo.

I´m usually a big fan of comedic actors in dramatic roles because in most cases, they´re pretty good actors. Think about Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation”, for example. However, when Kelly litters his entire movie with them this way, it just adds to the surrealism of the film. It´s like you´re watching some strange alternative universe where comedians try to be “serious”.

It´s hard to explain exactly how weird and strange this film is! I can´t quite put it into words. I mean, when you´re watching a movie where in the other scene The Scorpion King and Stifler from “American Pie” discusses bowel movements and in the next one Justin Timberlake muses on the sins of mankind and reads from The Bible, you know that this is something out of the ordinary.

I have no idea what Kelly tries to say with this movie, other than to show the world that he has a huge Philip K. Dick-obsession but I still like it! And like I said, I think it´s because I can´t for the life of me imagine how the fucker got this thing off the ground! It´s a goddamn miracle that not one single producer or executive ever pulled the emergency brakes and asked “Hey, Richard… I´ve been watching the dailies and I saw the ones you shot last week, you know the ones with Amy Poehler on the toilet, talking about the bible and how about animals have the free will to take a shit… I watched that one and also that musical number where Justin Timberlake lip synchs Killers´ song and I think that maybe we should stop filming for a while so that you can figure out exactly what this movie is about…”

The fact that this movie exists is something that we should applaud! No matter what you think about it, it is truly one of a kind. I´d imagine that if you were the kind of guy or girl who likes drop a tab of LSD every now and then, this movie would probably wreak havoc on your brain.

You´re probably not gonna like it but I still think you should check this one out.

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

Here´s a movie that, judging from its reviews, is supposed to be so horrible that you can´t watch it without consuming some kind of heavy liquor or narcotics. Well, I can understand how a lot of people would find this movie silly and not the least frightening, but I gotta admit that I had a blast watching it. Now, for those of you out there who´ve been living in a cellar chained to the wall for the last year and are not familiar with “Jennifer´s Body” or its star Megan Fox, I´ll give you a quick rundown: “Jennifer´s Body” is written by Diablo Cody, the stripper-turned-screenwriter, who wrote “Juno” and won a bunch of awards and got stinking rich. After the success with “Juno”, she created a TV show called “United States of Tara” and when it got time to write another movie she found herself in the position of being able to do basically whatever the hell she wanted. If she would´ve called up the executives and said that “Yeah, this is Diablo Cody… That´s right, the Diablo Cody! I´m thinking about writing an all nude-musical starring nothing but mongoloid dwarves, would you be willing to bankroll that?”, I´d bet my left nut that they would´ve agreed to that.

Now, I´m just gonna come right out and say it: I thought “Juno” was a fantastic film! It was one of the better teen comedies I´ve seen in the last ten years and it was pretty obvious for anyone with at least one ear that this Diablo Cody girl had one hell of an ear for writing some snappy dialogue. Granted that it´s not the most realistic dialogue to ever grace the silver screen, but who gives a damn. I thought it was great! Hell, I even read her book about how she started stripping and enjoyed that one, as well. So if one were to call me a “Diablo Cody fan”, I wouldn´t argue with them. Unless I were in a bar, surrounded by a bunch of bikers, maybe. Maybe then it´s not the most masculine thing to admit.

But anyway, I think she´s one of the more interesting screenwriters around today and if you´ve seen “Juno”, you´d also know that she´s a horror movie fan. Ellen Page´s character has some pretty entertaining discussions about both Dario Argento and Herschell Gordon Lewis, if I remember correctly. So it´s not that surprisingly that she wants to try her hand on a horror movie (although I think my all-nude-dwarf-musical would be more interesting). Naturally, this one is set in the harsh world of High School, as well.

Needy Lesnicki (Amanda Seyfried) and Jennifer Check (Megan Fox) are best friends, though they share little in common. Needy is a nerdy reserved bookworm while Jennifer is an arrogant, conceited cheerleader who has every guy drooling after her. One night Jennifer convinces Needy to accompany her to local dive bar Melody Lane to watch a band called Low Shoulder perform. When the place is set on fire, Jennifer is abducted by the band in their van. Later she appears at Needy’s home covered in blood, throwing up a dark liquid and behaving all around weirdly…

So we´re not talking Oscar material here, ok? “Juno” did win one for best original screenplay, if I remember correctly, but there were not much chance of Cody reprising that feat with this one. And I don´t think that that ever entered into Miss Cody´s mind. This is not a movie that´s trying to be anything it isn´t, and that´s what I like about it.

However, one might argue that the movie isn´t sure exactly what it wants to be. Like I said, if you go into this expecting a “horror” movie, you might be disappointed. This one is more along the lines of a movie like “Heathers”. It´s dark yet funny but unlike “Heathers”, “Jennifer´s Body” does more than just flirt with the horror genre: it embraces it and plays around with its conventions, but it doesn´t quite succeed with creating tension or suspense. I´m not sure if that ever was the filmmaker´s goal, though.

However, one thing that director Karyn Kusama does succeed with is the portrayal of teenage girls and their so called “friendships”. I´ve always been amazed and fascinated with how teenage girls behave when they spend time with each other because it´s pretty unlike the way boys behave. I´ve always thought that girls´ friendships are more like a pair of sworn enemies who, from time to time, realize that they actually like each other. Kusama manages to convey this pretty well, amidst the bloodletting and satanic rituals that we get to witness. And to be honest, this is what I found to be the best thing about the movie: the two girls´ friendship. It´s refreshing to see an American teen movie where the cheerleader is best friends with the nerd and doesn´t exclusively spend time with other cheerleaders or jocks. These girls are at the stage in their friendship where they are friends with each other because that´s what they´ve always have been since they were kids but you get the feeling that maybe Needy´s starting to sense that they are growing apart. I don´t know what it is, but the dynamic between two persons whenever this happens is something I find fascinating and it´s interesting to see this portrayed in a movie of this kind.

But like I said, the greatest thing about this movie is the fact that it doesn´t try to apologize for being, what is essentially, a B-horror movie with a fairly shitty premise and instead plays it straight and rolls with the punches. And I still enjoy Diablo Cody´s dialogue and just like in “Juno” they´ve managed to find actors that pulls it off without sounding too forced. Hell, even Megan Fox pulls it off! Which kinda surprised me, to be honest. I mean, we´ve all seen “Transformers”, right? Those clunky CGI-robots had more life to them than she did in those movies but here she actually works as a sexy/scary high school girl. But maybe that says more about Michael Bay´s abilities than Megan Fox´s?

I can´t quite understand why this one got such bad reviews. The more I think about it, the funnier I think it is. There are a couple of scenes that particularly reminded me of “Heathers” that stands out. My favorite is the one at the funeral where the local EMO-kids gets a mouthful from a grieving mother, which kinda reminded me of the “I love my dead gay son!”-scene in “Heathers”. I also like how the band, Low Shoulder, is portrayed. They represent exactly what´s wrong with rock music today: black dressed guys with mascara who sings songs slow songs with poetic lyrics about pain and suicide; the kind of bands people with half a brain refers to as “wimps”. Adam Brody is particularly funny as the singer. I guess that he´s got firsthand experience from hanging out with bands like that from his days on “The O.C.” so he could go all Method when it became time for this role.

However, I do have one beef with “Jennifer´s Body” (well, not the body itself, that part is quite fine) and that is the fact that it falls into that old trap of having one of the leads play a nerd and how do we do that in the best way? Naturally, we hire one of the up-and-coming girls in Hollywood and then we stick a pair of glasses on her! Then everyone will immediately think that “Oh my god, can you believe how freaky she looks with those glasses?” I´m sorry to say that this isn´t the way it works and Diablo Cody should know better. Didn´t you learn anything from “She´s All That”? I am one of those guys that have a pretty strong preference when it comes to girls with glasses and I´m not afraid to say it. 9 times out of 10, stick a pair of glasses on a girl and her sex appeal is instantly elevated and it´s time that Hollywood acknowledges this! I can´t be alone in feeling this way, I know that. They´ve been doing that old glasses-on-a-beautiful-girl-routine since the 80´s, for chrissakes. I think it´s time to lay it to rest now. So this is me taking a stand for every girl in the world who wears glasses. Don´t stop! Don´t switch to contacts! Deep down, every guy appreciates that secretary look, no matter what they tell you.

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

It´s that time of year again: the time to step up to the plate and make a stand for the films that everyone hates, no one wants to watch and every single geek on the internet badmouths! I´m talking of course about Neil LaBute´s widely hated remake of “The Wicker Man”, starring the master of the twitch-riddled acting: Nicolas Cage! I have talked about this movie many times before here but the other day I got into a discussion about it again and I can´t for the life of me understand why this movie evokes such strong feelings in people. This movie isn´t so much hated by people as they´re disgusted by it!

Now, let´s get one thing out of the away immediately: “The Wicker Man” is a remake of a beloved classic. I know that. However, I´m not particularly fond of this classic. Admittedly, it has Christopher Lee in it and for what it´s worth, we do get to see Britt Ekland´s body double dance naked like a crazy person up against a wall. Not to forget that Ingrid Pitt also has a small role. That´s the things I do like about the film. Don´t get me wrong: I enjoy Britt Ekland´s body double´s crazy ass-dance as much as the next guy but that´s about it.

Then there´s the things I don´t like about it, which by far outweighs the things I enjoy: like the countless song and dance numbers. I can´t get past them and have always had a problem with them. I´m not saying that LaBute´s remake is a masterpiece, but let´s be honest: at least the guy had the good taste to get rid of these horrible song numbers!

For those of you who have avoided this film because you´ve read on the internet or heard from a co-worker that it truly is “the worst movie in history of bad films!”, here´s what it´s about:

Highway patrolman Edward Malus (Cage) is recovering from an accident and receives a letter from his former fiancée Willow (Kate Beahan), who left him years ago without any explanation, telling him that her daughter Rowan is missing. Edward travels to the private island of Summerisle, where Willow lives in an odd community that makes a living on honey, and she reveals that Rowan is actually their daughter. Along his investigation with the hostile and unhelpful inhabitants, Edward discloses that the locals are pagans, practicing old rituals to improve their crop, and Rowan is probably alive and being prepared to be sacrificed…

Most people will complain about the fact that LaBute´s film isn´t horrifying at all, but if you can show me one person who thinks that the original is scary, I´ll gladly accompany them to the nearest mental institution. I´ll even sign ´em in! I know that it´s considered a classic in the horror movie pantheon, but honestly… I´ve seen info-mercials that were scarier than the original “Wicker Man”!

LaBute´s take on the story however, is a slick, entertaining film with some twists and turns to it that I really enjoyed. I thought that his particular brand of humor worked for this material. For those of you who´ve seen his other movies you know that LaBute has some issues when it comes to women. Let´s just say that he´s one of those guys that believes that there is a war raging between the sexes, ok? But at least he has a sense of humor about it (some might argue that point), albeit a very dark one.

But that´s what most people doesn´t seem to realize: this is a dark, twisted comedy working within the confines of the horror genre. You´re not supposed to take it serious. It works much better that way. I mean, when Cage stands, pointing a gun at a young girl and shouts the line “Step away from the bicycle!”, do you really think that LaBute and co thought that they were invading Ingmar Bergman-territory? It´s supposed to be funny, but since LaBute has a history of making dark, “serious” movies, he´s suddenly not allowed to have a sense of humor?

Honestly, does anyone out there really think that Cage & LaBute was not aware that having him dressed up in a bear suit and riding a young girl´s bike through the forest is funny? I find it hilarious.

I think it´s a nice touch that LaBute has changed the island into a matriarchy, run by Ellen Burstyn, as opposed to a patriarchy with Christopher Lee at the helm in the original. But to be honest, I too was expecting a lot more misogynistic propaganda from LaBute. He kinda let me down there. I know that all the evil characters in the movie are female and at one point Cage is stuck in a well, which I guess is supposed to symbolize the island´s vagina, but from what I´d heard about this movie, I was just expecting more.

I expected something along the lines of Leni Riefenstahl´s old Nazi-movies but with LaBute preaching the evil-ness and all around rotten-ness of women. But the thing is that the character we´re supposed to sympathize with is Cage, right? This Edward Malus-guy that he portrays is pretty weird. He yells at people for no apparent reason and he doesn´t seem to be that interested in really finding out the truth. And he´s a man, in case someone missed that. So I guess that it goes both ways. Say what you will about it but honestly, Malus isn´t that a sympathetic guy.

It´s actually pretty fantastic how weird Cage´s character acts in this one. The scenes where he, for no apparent reason, starts screaming at someone are classic! And the ending is a great one, there´s no denying one. When Cage cries out “Oh my god, oh my god…” it truly is something above the ordinary. I think it´s admirable that Cage, who´s a major star, has the guts to play a character that behaves erratically and then breaks down this way. At least he´s not afraid of looking bad, that´s for sure, and for that he should be applauded!

Last time I checked, this movie had a whooping 3.6 over at imdb.com and it´s kinda hard to fully grasp the anger that this film awakes in its viewers. People seem to have a personal vendetta with LaBute and Cage and I know that a lot of people have a huge problem with the ending of the film and Nicolas Cage´s bear suit… but really, don´t you think that you take life a little too seriously if you allow yourself to get that worked up over a thing like that? It´s worth checking out this film alone for the scene where Cage dropkicks that lady in the stomach.

What people doesn´t realize is that we should be singing Nicolas Cage´s praises for having the guts to do something so politically incorrect in a film! I wish that they had taken this concept even further: imagine Cage running amuck and dropkicking women to the left and right. As it is now, we get at least two or three good punches and kicks. The scene with LeLee Sobieski is a particular favorite.

Besides, a film that is dedicated to Johnny Ramone, can´t be all that bad… I bet my left nut that Johnny Ramone would have loved it. And if it it´s good enough for Johnny Ramone, it´s certainly good for me…

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

Hey, how about them crazy sports fans, huh? You know which ones I´m talking about. You either have one in your immediate family, among your friends or your co-workers: the kinda guy who´s only interested in one thing and one thing only… sports! The only thing he wants to discuss is how his favorite team is doing or what they should do to improve their results. I don´t know how it is with you but where I live, the sport most commonly discussed is soccer (for you Americans out there that´s the kind of football where you actually use your feet). The fascinating thing about these guys is that they always have the answer to all the problems and knows exactly what the coach is doing wrong. Call me crazy but it´s almost as if he would do a better job than the actual coach! I know these guys very well. I´ve grown up among them, so I know what I´m talking about. They´re not quite as socially maladjusted as Patton Oswalt´s character Paul Aufiero in “Big Fan”, but they´ve got that fanaticism-thing going on. But Paul is playing in a whole other league, so to speak (Hey, did you get that? “League” as in “Sports league”… Christ, I´m good with words)

But back to Paul Aufiero! He´s a devout New York Giants fan, and got a career (as he himself calls it) as a parking garage attendant. He still lives with his mother (Marcia Jean Kurtz) in Staten Island, working nights at the garage. When things are slow at work he meticulously crafts rants about why his Giants are “destined” for glory and calls in to a local late-night sports radio show where he is a known contributor and enemy of Philadelphia Eagles fan, Philadelphia Phil.

This is basically how life goes for him and the one thing that he seem to enjoy is those Sunday afternoons when it´s game time. But things take a turn when he, along with his best friend Sal (Kevin Corrigan) spots one of their favorite players, Quantrell Bishop (Jonathan Hamm). They follow him to a Manhattan strip club, in an attempt to approach and speak to him. But their meeting with their big hero doesn´t go as planned…

Pretty pathetic life, huh? That´s what most people will think when they watch this movie. But I was actually pretty moved by both the character and the film itself. Maybe “moved” is the wrong word but I gotta admit that I at least understand this character. Except for the fact that I have a burning non-interest in all things sports-related, I have my own obsessions. Cause let´s be honest here: what´s the difference between having a favorite band or a favorite team? Not that much, if you ask me. The sports fan or the music fan have their favorite that they root for, no matter what the press say about them, and whether it´s a new album or a championship that´s at stake, in the end they both evoke some kind of emotional response in us, right? I can imagine that the feeling you get when you favorite team scores a winning point isn´t that different from when your favorite band has released that one song, that is so goddamn good that no one in the whole word but you understands how good it is. And what is music and sports if not different kinds of feeling that you belong somewhere, whether it is among other supporters or fans?

I´ll give you an example from my own depraved existence: one of my all time musical heroes is Glenn Danzig. He´s a goddamn genius and except for releasing great albums with the Misfits and Samhain, he made four classic albums with Danzig. But then he decided that he wanted to be Trent Reznor and released the awful “Danzig 5: Blackacidevil”, which had distorted vocals and industrial synthesizers all over the thing. My life was in ruins.

But despite this, I didn´t turn my back on Glenn. I stuck with him through the backlash that occurred and all through “Danzig 6: Satan´s Child”, which was marginally better. But then things started to change and the seventh and the eight album are actually pretty god damn great! Same thing when Mr. Brett left Bad Religion back in the middle of the 90´s. I didn´t stop listening to them just cause they released a bunch of albums that wasn´t nearly as good as the old ones, did I? No, I stuck with them and look what happened: Mr. Brett returned and the three latest ones are among their best ever!

Isn´t this what it´s like to root for a team: to not be a turncoat just because they aren´t winning at the moment? You stick with them, no matter how bad they´re performing because you know that one day that´ll all turn around.

That is why, my friend, I don´t find this Paul character that pathetic. I get where he´s coming from because basically I am the same when it comes to music and movies. Granted that I have managed to move out from my mother´s house and get myself an education and a girlfriend and shit like that, but that isn´t what Paul is interested in. He seems to be genuinely happy with the life he´s living and the things that his family keeps nagging him about isn´t interesting to him. He´s not interested in meeting a girl. It´s not like he´s asexual because we do get to see him pulling a fast one under the covers before he goes to sleep, but it´s as if he´s taken himself out of that dating game completely. He´s just not interested in it, unless it could affect his dear Giants in a positive way and the chances of that happening aren´t that big.

Another interesting thing that this movie deals with is this weird phenomenon of actually meeting one of your heroes. If you´ve ever had the chance of doing it, you know that it´s a completely bizarre experience. Chances are that you´re not alone when it happens and you´re surrounded by other people that also idolizes this person and the conversations that goes on at these events can be spectacularly bizarre because everyone tries to outdo each other by showing that “I know more about this guy´s career than you do and I sure as hell appreciate him more! I get his work in a way that you can even begin to fathom…” Because everyone is basically hoping that their hero will notice them and acknowledge how insanely cool they are because you made a weird joke about who was the sound engineer on their third album or whatever. This is what everyone´s hoping for but it mostly results in forced compliments. However, I´ve never seen it end like it does for Paul when (SPOILER!!!) he gets beat up by Quantrell and ends up spending a couple of days unconscious.

And this is the dilemma that Paul is forced to wrestle with: should he press charges, which would mean that Quantrell won´t be allowed to play and the Giants will probably lose, but on the other hand Paul would end up a very wealthy man. It doesn´t take a genius to figure out which way Paul´s family wants him to go, right?

I think that these are some pretty interesting questions that “Big Fan” raises. Is there any way for a fan to justify the kind of behavior Quantrell displays? I mean, I wouldn´t be the happiest guy in the world if I tried to approach Marky Ramone and he punched me in the face. How would I feel about his body of work after that? Would I be able to enjoy the music as much as I had done previously?

“Big Fan” is written and directed by Robert D. Siegel, who wrote the amazingly awesome glorious return of Mickey Rourke the other year, “The Wrestler”, and although this one isn´t as great as that, it´s a pretty fantastic film. It´s obvious that Siegel is a huge fan of 70´s cinema. “Big Fan” bears echoes of both “Taxi Driver” and the work of Sidney Lumet, in that it is deliberately paced. We´re talking washed out colors, handheld cameras and overlapping dialogue here, folks. Oh, and some pretty excruciating situations and confrontations. But no matter how much of an angst-ridden piece of work this may be, it is definitely not without a sense of humor. It´s a very funny film, but not the kind of funny you would expect from a movie starring Patton Oswalt.

Now, I don´t know about you but I love the guy! I think his stand up work is hilarious and he never fails to make me laugh in the supporting roles he´s had in movies such as “Observe and Report”, “Reno 911” and TV shows like “United States of Tara”. But in this one he actually proves that he can act, as well. This is one of those “Hey, look it´s a comedian who actually can act!”-performances. Although Oswalt gets to say his share of witty and crude remarks, this is a pretty restrained performance.

There´s also some pretty solid support from Kevin Corrigan, who should be declared a god damn national treasure in the states! He´s been in, roughly, every movie made the last five years (“American Gangster”, “Pineapple Express”, “Superbad”, and “The Departed”) and he´s the kind of actor who always plays quirky characters but they somehow always seem to be a variation on himself. I guess he´s just that good and he kinda reminds me of Harry Dean Stanton in that way.

Anyway, I´m rambling now but I really recommend this one. This guy Siegel definitely knows what he´s doing and I hope that he´s able to indulge in the affinity he has for uncomfortable, yet funny, 70´s-flavored character studies. He definitely knows what he´s doing and how to construct a satisfying story. Judging from this one and his script to “The Wrestler” he seems like the kind of guy who should be given “Final Cut” from here on out. Ok, Hollywood? We´re clear on that?

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

Hey, remember that character Zed from the ”Police Academy”-movies? The guy who screamed in that high pitched voice? He was played by Bobcat Goldthwait, who kinda disappeared from the limelight after his much heralded, celebrated turn as the screaming police rookie. Kind of like Steve Guttenberg, who played Mahoney, also did. But Guttenberg kept churning out movies, at least that much we know. But whatever happened to Goldthwait? Did he get hooked on heroin and die? Does he work as a limo driver in L.A.? Does he run a meth lab in New Mexico? Did he start appearing in any of the many reality shows and humiliates himself for a shot at reaching the headlines once again? The possibilities are endless for an actor who´s out of demand. But Goldthwait did not succumb to any of these temptations. His story is much more interesting.

You see, Goldthwait started writing and directing. He´s worked on a number of TV shows as well as at least three movies. The first one was released back in ´91. It´s called “Shakes the Clown” and is sort of a precursor to “Bad Santa” and “Bad News Bears” and other profanity-laden comedies with an alcoholic lead. It´s a pretty funny movie but it would take until 2006 until Goldthwait got another movie of the ground: “Stay” aka “Sleeping Dogs Lie” which is a fantastic little film. It´s basically your ordinary story of how a college girl´s decision to satisfy her dog orally, comes to affect her adult life, when faced with such things as relationships and marriage.

The other day I sat down to watch his latest movie, “World´s Greatest Dad”, starring Robin Williams. Now, I know what you´re thinking: “Which Robin Williams is it we´re talking about here? Is it the hyperactive, talking-a-mile-a-minute, frenetic one from “Good Morning, Vietnam” or is it the low-key one from “Good Will Hunting” and “One Hour Photo”?” Thankfully, it´s the latter. I don´t know about you but I much prefer the low-key human version of Robin Williams instead of the Energizer bunny one. And that´s we get here and surprisingly, it´s one of William´s best performances ever!

Now, before I get into what this movie is all about I really do recommend that you stop reading and watch the goddamn thing first because this is one of those flicks where the less you know, the better it is. Ok? You got that. Here we go:

Williams plays Lance Clayton, a high school poetry teacher who nurtures dreams of being a rich and famous writer. His only son Kyle (Daryl Sabara) is an insufferable jackass who won’t give his father the time of day.  Lance is dating Claire (Alexie Gilmore), the school’s art teacher, but she doesn’t want to get serious — or even acknowledge publicly that they are dating. Then, in the wake of a freak accident, Lance suffers the worst tragedy and greatest opportunity of his life. He is suddenly faced with the possibility of all the fame, fortune and popularity he ever dreamed of, if he can only live with the knowledge of how he got there.

First of all there´s one thing you need to know: this is a comedy aimed squarely at an adult audience. And by that, I don´t means that it contains hardcore pornography but that it deals with things that I don´t think any teenagers out there would find particularly amusing. It´s pretty dark stuff. I´m gonna have to give you a SPOILER-ALERT!!! here because it´s pretty hard to discuss this one any further without giving away what happens. So at the next junction there will be a huge SPOILER!!!-sign, ok? So go watch the movie and we´ll meet back here in about two hours, ok?

Approximately two hours later…

So, aren´t you glad that you´ve seen the movie now? Imagine the fantastic discussions we can have now? Admit that you were kinda surprised when Williams found his obnoxious son dead, after he strangled himself while masturbating? The fact that the little fucker had jacked off to the photos he took of Claire´s underwear didn´t make things better, did it? Pretty fucked up stuff. But that´s what makes this movie so good.

It´s a pretty fantastic premise and this is a pretty bold movie. I mean, how many movies have you seen that is set in the high school environment, where one of the leads is a teenage kids who´s into German scheisse-porn, spies on his 70 year old neighbor while she undresses and jacks off? Larry Clarke´s movies doesn´t count. That doesn´t leave that many, does it?

After Kyle´s death, the movie moves into “Heathers”-territory because Williams does what probably most parents would do: in order to give his son some kind of dignity he re-arranges the body so that it looks like a suicide. But the thing is that he also writes a suicide letter. I´m not that sure that that many parents would do that, though. But Williams does and since he´s an unpublished, experienced writer, he´s got a way with words and Kyle´s suicide letter is published in the local paper and suddenly everyone feels sorry for the kid. Other kids at school starts wearing pins with Kyle´s face; kids that couldn´t give a flying fuck about him while he was still alive. Kyle´s letter becomes an expression and a poster boy for everyone´s pain so Williams takes it one step further: he writes an entire journal, claiming it´s Kyle´s. He can´t resist the temptation of having an audience actually read his material.

Now, this sounds like a pretty unsympathetic movie filled with despicable characters, doesn´t it? Queasy as hell, right? Well, the surprising thing is that it isn´t. Goldthwait definitely has a sweet streak in him and that´s really what elevates this film from being just a “good” film to a frickin´ great one! I really liked “Stay” but this one is even better.

It reminds of the kind of fantastic, American movies they used to make back in the 70´s: darkly funny, original characters and an off-beat storyline. And it´s the characters that really make this movie work. Williams is fantastic in his role but this kid, Daryl Sabara, is pretty goddamn great as Kyle, as well. Which is kind of disconcerting. I don´t know if you recognize his name but he´s actually the kid from Robert Rodriguez´s “Spy Kids”-movies. So this is what he graduated to: auto-asphyxiation! What the hell happened to him at the set of those movies? Hollywood sure corrupted him.

This guy Henry Simmons (who I swear looks just like The Rock) is also good as Mike, another teacher who starts spending time with Claire. Which I can´t blame him for because Alexie Gilmore is almost too sweet to describe in this role. That´s the only thing I had a hard time buying: that a girl this pretty and sweet would wanna spend time with an old dude like Robin Williams. But the great thing about the characters, particularly Claire, is that even though she is this sweet and charming woman, she´s also kind of the villain of the movie in the way that she starts hanging out with Mike a bit too frequently. Goldthwait really manages to create believable characters and you buy the relationships they have. It´s like you´re dropped into a world with fully rounded characters and this is what´s going on at the moment. Actually, it kind of reminded me of a Paul Thomas Anderson-movie, in that regard. Particularly the scene where Williams finds his dead son. It´s a heartbreaking sequence played in slow motion and without any natural sounds, with a song playing on the soundtrack. It´s quite touching and for some reason it reminded me of the scene in “Magnolia” when everyone starts singing along to that Aimee Mann-tune. Williams is fantastic in this scene.

I think that along with “Stay” and this one, Goldthwait is one of the more original voices in American comedy today and I´m really looking forward to whatever his next project may be. I really hope that this gets to continue keep making the movies that he wants to do because the world needs ´em. Ah screw that, I need ´em! There ain´t that many dark comedies worth their salt out there today and we need more filmmakers who aren´t afraid to touch upon the darker aspects of life but still maintain a sweet streak about the whole thing.

It would be interesting to know exactly how many families rented this one based on its title and the cover and expected a nice Disney-like comedy, starring their beloved funnyman Robin Williams. I mean look at the cover at the top! It doesn´t exactly scream: “Hey, fucker! Wanna watch a truly original, dark-as-hell comedy about a kid who strangles himself while beating off and how his dad, played by Mork from Ork, covers the whole thing up? You wanna watch that? Then rent me!”

Man, I´d love to see the look on people´s faces who mistakenly thinks they´d gotten “Old Dogs”, instead. Serves ´em right, the fuckers.

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

A movie about a guy who realizes he´s gay and then spends a good portion of the film in a very manly environment? No, I did not go to a Heath Ledger-retrospective to watch ”Brokeback Mountain”. Instead I visited the Gothenburg International Film Festival and saw the new Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor-vehicle ”I Love You Philip Morris”. Now, I like Jim Carrey as much as the next guy, alright? Even though his movies are mostly entertaining in a pleasant, non-offensive kind of way, the guy still surprises me every now and then with a genuinely fine performance. His Andy Kaufman in ”The Man on the Moon” was pretty amazing and he managed to bring some depth to that weepy guy he portrayed in ”Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”, there´s no arguing that, right? And that´s how I prefer my Carrey: restrained and low key! When he starts resorting to over-the-top, whacky faces I tend to lose interest. Fortunately, he doesn´t go down that road too often in ”I Love You Philip Morris”. He keeps his car in the right lane of the acting highway in this one.

When I heard that Carrey was going to star in a movie written and directed by the guys who wrote what could be the funniest movie of the last ten years, ”Bad Santa”, I thought ”Finally! Maybe this will bring some edge to his work”. And when I heard that it was supposed to be based on a true story about a guy who, after a near death experience, realizes he’s gay and makes a vow to live his life to the fullest, I was jumping with joy! If there ever were a premise ready to be mined for some politically incorrect humor, this was it. Carrey as a newly ”born” homosexual who lands himself in prison? Count me in.

As it turns out, John Regua and Glenn Ficarra doesn´t take the easy way out. For the first half hour, it´s pretty obvious that this is the guys who wrote Billy Bob Thornton´s many tirades against all things holy in ”Bad Santa”. And I´m gonna level with you, fellas: this first half hour or forty minutes was when I laughed the most.

You see, this is a movie of two halves: it starts out as your ordinary Jim Carrey-movie with the kind of broad comedy you´d expect from it. The scenes of his accident and his realization regarding his sexuality are pretty hilarious and I can guarantee you that these are lines you´ll be hearing quoted back to you at parties for a long time to come. I mean, whenever you go to a party, there´s at least one guy who thinks that the funniest thing in the world is himself spouting a bunch of Jim Carrey-lines. Am I right? How many times haven’t you heard someone say ”It’s okay! I’m a limo driver!”, while he´s looking like he came up with the most brilliant line ever on the spot? Well, rest assured, party-goers! We´ve got some new lines in store for you. Being the nice guy that I am, I’m not gonna ruin them for you here.

Anyway, Carrey realizes that he´s homosexual so he dumps his wife, played by the lovely Leslie Mann who´s pretty much wasted in yet another thankless role, and moves to Florida to live out his pink-hued dreams. But as Carrey´s character puts it: ”Being gay´s expensive”. So, he starts scamming insurance- and credit card companies to keep things going. Eventually, this lands him in prison. This is where he meets Philip Morris, played by Ewan McGregor. And in case you haven´t figured it out yet, Jim Carrey loves him. I didn´t see a scene with them sitting in a tree, tongue-wrestling, but that´s the general idea. Maybe I missed it. Their relationship blossoms in the prison environment and it´s also in these scenes that the filmmakers finds an outlet for their affinity for characters exploding with deliriously filthy dialogue, ”Bad Santa”-style. Unfortunately, this type of comedy takes a side step for a more traditional love story and I´m kinda torn about how I feel about that.

On one hand I was surprised at how genuine Carrey and McGregor´s relationship felt. They really convinced me that these guys love each other and this is much thanks to McGregor´s performance. It´s nowhere near as flamboyant or showy as Carrey´s, who gets to slip in and out of different costumes and take on different identities as he´s scamming his way through the Midwest. However, you can understand why Carrey´s Steve falls for him. He starts out as a standard-formula-type-A-Hollywood-homosexual character but slowly evolves into a character you really feel for. This is all McGregor, because he isn´t given much to work with, to be honest. But he is the emotional epi-centre of the movie and it´s he who sells the emotional scenes, which turns out to be pivotal to this film.

This is a surprisingly tender movie that isn´t afraid to let its characters emotions play out and that kinda caught me off guard. I wasn´t expecting that from the guys who wrote that “You´re not gonna shit right for a week”-line. But they do and they pull it off, so I guess good work on that, guys!

It will be interesting to see what kind of reception this one gets in the states because it is surprisingly frank about its subject and I´m guessing that some scenes will send the Christian rights-movement reeling into another one of their “This sick film must be banned!”-hysterics. Over here in Sweden, it´s everyday stuff for us. What Carrey and McGregor do in the private comfort of their prison cell to each other, people do in the streets over here. The Swedish sin, remember? It´s worse than ever.

I guess what makes this movie pretty good is also what initially put me off: the fact that it balances its humor with some very dark themes and drama. As I´m writing this I realize that I liked this movie more than I thought I would after walking out of the theatre. As it is, it kinda plays out like if James L. Brooks suffered a bout of Tourette´s syndrome. And I mean that in the best possible way.

So even if this may not be another classic, like “Bad Santa”, Ficarra and Requa has a pretty original approach to humor and I really appreciate that. I´m not gonna go into detail because we all know that the highest form of meaninglessness is someone trying to explain why something is funny. So I´m not. But they do use the sound design of the movie and music to get a few laughs and I thought that this was a somewhat fresh approach.

So I guess this a good one. Go see it. And I promise you: at no point does Jim Carrey look deep into Ewan McGregor´s eyes and whisper: “I wish I knew how to quit you” so it´s got that going for it, as well.

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas

Hey, anybody remember 1998? Man, that was some good times, right? Bill Clinton were still president in the States and had  started to explore the many different ways you can use a cigar, the Y2K-bug had just started to worry people and Jesse “The Body” Ventura was elected governor of Minnesota. People were getting jiggy with Will Smith and Bruce Willis made an ass of himself by starring in “Armageddon”. Like I said: good times!

It was in ´98 that I last saw a Todd Solondz movie in a theatre and let me tell ya, since then a lot of things have changed. I remember that at the screening of “Happiness”, at least six or seven people got up and left in the middle of the movie. Someone muttered something about “Is this shit supposed to be funny? Fucking perverts!” and another one gasped in horror when it became apparent to her that Dylan Baker´s character was planning to drug and rape that little kid. People had strong emotions when it came to “Happiness” and so did I: I absolutely loved it! Especially the opening scene with Jon Lovitz where he does his monologue about how Jane Adams is “shit and I´m champagne”. I also remember that when I laughed out loud at Ben Gazzara repeatedly telling the people around him that he doesn´t feel anything, a woman turned around and looked at me as if I had just puked her in the neck.  A lot of people genuinely felt that this was an obscene movie. And this was in Sweden, mind you! Remember, we were the ones who invented sin and lust back in the 60´s. We´re pretty liberal about most things but this fucking Solondz guy, he was pushing it!

But like I said, since then a lot of things have changed and in today´s day and age, I think it´d be pretty hard to find someone who´d be genuinely upset over what goes on in “Life During Wartime”, Solondz “sequel” to “Happiness”. I don´t know if this is a case of Solondz growing older and more mellow or if the audience have become more jaded but what is pretty crystal clear however is the fact that “Life During Wartime” is a very good movie! As a sequel it is somewhat unique: Solondz continues the tradition from his previous movie “Palindromes” and lets a set of different actors play the same characters. Almost every character is a recurring one from “Happiness” but they´re all played by new actors: Ciaran Hinds plays Dylan Baker´s pedophile, Ally Sheedy plays Laura Flynn Boyle´s Helen and Michael K. Williams play Allen, the obscene phone caller played Philip Seymour Hoffman in the first one and so on. I have to say that I had my trepidations about how this would work, but Solondz really pulls it off. Now, I haven´t seen “Happiness” in the last ten years but despite that I have a very clear memory of these characters. I guess that´s a testament to Solondz´s writing and impeccable casting. He managed to create almost iconic characters and the fact that he re-casts them here and gets away with it is no mean feat. Ciaran Hinds takes what is Dylan Baker´s crowning acting achievement (if you don´t count his snorting redneck from “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”) and delivers a magnificent, almost sublime performance. He manages to convey very much without much dialogue and the scene with him confronting his son is emotionally devastating.

Now, some might say that this one doesn´t have the bite and the edge that “Happiness” did and I guess I can agree with that to some degree. This one is more overtly comical and the plotline that deals with Ciaran Hind´s character and his ex-wife Trish (Allison Janney) is the one that contains the broadest comedy. The dinner scene when she invites her new boyfriend (played by Michael Lerner) and his son over is very broad but very hilarious.

Much time are devoted to Trish´s youngest son, Timmy, whose Bar Mitzvah is coming up and in the hands of a lesser director this is the kind of character who could´ve easily become as annoying and meaningless as a dick growing out of your forehead. You know how it is with these kids in movies, right? Nobody likes ´em but Solondz have actually managed to dig up a kid who stays on the right side of not being too disturbing. Naturally, since he is a child actor he has to have three names: Dylan Riley Snyder. Who in Hollywood has stipulated this rule?

If you are familiar with Solondz previous films, you know what you have in store: a darkly funny film, scenes of conversations, filled with some pretty goddamn fantastic dialogue. I think that what Solondz is so great at is that he manages to tread that thin line between funny, excruciatingly tragic and uncomfortable, better than any other filmmaker today. I was a bit disappointed with “Palindromes” but it´s good to see him back in form with this one.

A funny thing happened when I saw this at the Gothenburg International Film Festival the other day. You know, it´s always sort of a hit-or-miss with these festival showings. You can never be sure if the film´s gonna start at all and in this case they ran late. Twenty minutes after it was supposed to have started, the theatre finally darkened. So there I am, in a huge theatre on the opening night of the festival and the music starts. But still no credits. Everyone is completely silent and still (this is a festival crowd, remember? No cell phones here) and then the dialogue starts. Still completely dark. No one says anything and I start turning and looking around. No reaction from the audience. Everyone´s just sitting there, trying to figure out if there´s something wrong with the projection of the movie or if this is an artistic choice on Solondz´s behalf! No one says anything at all because let´s face it: you don´t wanna be the guy who starts shouting “What the fuck? What´s wrong with the picture?” and then it turns out that the movie´s supposed to be that way. “What a schmuck!” You don´t wanna be that guy and be subjected to 800 over-intellectual´s scorning looks just because you were too stupid to notice artistic shit when you saw it. As it turned out, there was something wrong with the projection and the light came back up so everyone started laughing nervously instead: “I thought that there was something wrong, didn´t you? Solondz would never open a film that way…”

But anyway, if you´re a fan of Solondz´s work, you´re definitely gonna like this one. It´s his best since “Happiness” but it´s not like it´s gonna convert anyone with a staunch anti-Solondz point of view. The only thing that I missed about this movie was the lack of the character of Lenny, whom Ben Gazzara played. I thought that he was one of the most interesting and enjoyable in the first one but he´s not included in this one. I would´ve loved to see what another veteran actor would do with that part. Maybe for part three then, huh?

Until next time: take scare!

Thomas